


Voice of Reason

by Harucherry



Category: Diabolik Lovers
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-07 03:57:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20303089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harucherry/pseuds/Harucherry
Summary: It was not an easy job, playing parent and therapist, to help a cruel, cold-hearted and sadistic vampire. But that was Haru's mission. She was his imaginary friend from childhood days, that seemed to uncover one truth after another.





	Voice of Reason

My heels echoed on the hallway, before I stepped upon the red carpet that swallowed the noise. I just returned from outside. The rose garden outside always seemed to help when I needed a free minute to think.   
It was pretty chilly outside, considering I wasn't dressed for the nightly spring weather of april. The thickest fabric probably came from the black knee-length stockings I was wearing.   
But today I just needed time to be alone and let out all those thoughts and memories that built up in my head. 

It was a grey and melancholic day. Even now the moon hid behind the clouds and only came out every now and then through the holes in the clouds. 

It really brought me into a thoughtful and sad mood. And I started to overthink about all the things that had gone wrong from the time I could remember.

I thought about a time when I started to exist. Out of nothing I started to wander around the castle of the vampire king Karl-Heinz. I never thought of how I got there and had only the one thought. To find a certain somebody.   
It was at a time, where the children were still small and innocent and in their biggest growing spurts. 

It was a time where I immediately lost my naivety and innocence. Those were some of the most terribe and horrifying memories I have.

It was a child that sent me to him. Happy, empathic and very kind. But the need of help, the desire to be saved from what I had never guessed, had sent me to him in the middle of the day. 

He still didn't know my name, nor did I know where exactely he was, but I knew I had to find him. 

On the middle of the way, I finally found him. 

His eyes were small and empty. He slowly walked from one floor to another, his heart beating fast and his body feeling heavy. 

I teleported in front of him and noticed that the tears came flowing right out of his eyes and streamed down his cheeks.

"What are you doing here all alone? Did something happen?", I asked and leaned forward, but he took a step back.   
It was a time where he was so young and small that I changed myself to look about his age. 

He wiped the tears off of his cheeks quickly and gave me a smile. "I'm alright. Please don't worry." 

He held up his shaking hand. "I'm Laito Sakamaki, nice to meet you", he said happily. 

"I'm Haru. Do you want to be friends?", I asked and held up my hand. "High five?", I asked to make it easier for him and he softly put his hand against mine. 

"Sure! But... what are you doing here? Are you working here?", he asked and looked at me thoroughly. But my black lolita dress didn't really look like a maids dress or labour uniform.

"I'm a kind of... kind fairy" I said to explain things easier. "I am here, so you'll never feel lonely anymore. You can talk to me about everything and I'll listen. Or we'll play together. Just call my name and I'll be there. I promise."

The little boy smiled in silence before he started to cry again. But this time he was loud and almost broke my heart. I tried to cheer him up, but only in the night after that I could understand what had happened to him. 

I still remember how his mother had called for him and it took her only one sentence to make him feel desperate. He knew what she wanted was wrong, that was just a normal feeling for such a situation, but now he really couldn't say no.

"If you don't want to, I just ask Ayato or Kanato." 

Laito looked at her with widened eyes and shook his head. He loved his brothers ways too much to send them to her and have them feel the things he did. 

"No! I love you... you said it's normal right? We love each other and it's not wrong, right? Then I want to do it again", he explained and climbed on her bed. He didn't really believe it was right. His guts told him that it definitely wasn't, but a part of him just wanted to believe it was true. He had to believe it was true. What other love would she give him?

I couldn't do anything to stop him. I could do nothing to help him out of this. If it was about his brothers, he did anything he could to protect them.  
The only thing I could do, was to talk to him and get him back to bed.

But what he didn't know, was that they knew when he was missing in their bed. And when he returned, they only acted like they had been asleep. They first didn't know what was happening. They only heard him sob when he rejoined with them after it was over. It was only later that they knew what had been happening when they were kids. 

I shook my head and took a turn to the right on the next corridor to find myself running into Laito's arms. 

"Master!", I called him jokingly and stopped right before him. I really needed him to joke around with me tonight. He was the right guy for that job. 

He grinned widely and looked at me up and down. He saw the tears in my eyes that just couldn't disappear. Having drowned in my memories earlier, I now couldn't help but cry when I looked at him and remembered.

"Why are you crying?", he asked and grinned wider. "I haven't done anything with you yet." 

"It's nothing.", I said and turned away. 

"You become more and more like me. Great to see you learning from someone like me", he laughed and pushed me forwards. "You talk on the way, that's an order." 

I walked before him with a pout. When he spoke orders, that was when my fun stoppped. I mean, he couldn't really do anything to me, for the fact that I was imaginary. I could teleport and also turn invisible. That's why he's learned to use the power of surprise as one of the ways to get me in line.  
"It's just... one of the nights where I regret everything... and I feel useless.... and I just... I wish I could've done something..." 

"You want to change the past, hm?", he asked and pulled his hat deeper into his face while making sure that kept on going forward.   
"Weren't you telling me that I can't change the past and it's pointless to think about it just a few days ago?" 

"I just think I have an existential crisis. The only reason I exist was your call for help that was heard by someone and send me to you. And for two hundred years I failed in helping you. I am a failure.", I sighed and crossed my arms in front of my chest. 

"So you break your promise?", he asked and laid one of his hands onto his hiprdI could hear him grin in his last sentence, but it was this played happy tone. He liked making people give up on themselves or their beliefs. It was for him to confirm that it was okay that he had given up himself a while ago already.

But giving up? Breaking my promise? Those were things I couldn't ever do! 

I held my hand a little above a meter before me. "That's how tall you were. You always smiled. You were so kind and always were there to help other people. Whether maids that seemed to have lost something or whether you helped your siblings. You even snuck into Ayato's study room once. Or you helped Kanato to find the sweets that fell out of his pockets when you were playing together. You always helped him but never took any of them." I smiled and stood still. "You did what you could to help them, because you loved them. And I keep on doing the same for you, so how could I break my promise?" 

I turned around and saw how Laito had tears in his eyes. He was the only man in this house that I have ever seen crying actual tears of pain and was glad he let them out when he was sure he was alone. 

But I also couldn't hold back. Two hundred years passed flew by and it still felt like it just happened not so long ago. 

Suddenly he grabbed my arm and pulled me along with him into his room. He took a dark box out of his drawer and opened it. Inside was a silver dagger.

"You can now fulfill your promise", he said and unbuttoned his shirt with another hand. "It would make me very happy, if you would end my life now." 

"You still want to give up on your life?", I asked with wide eyes and took a step back. "I am not going to do that" I crossed my arms in protest before I took away the box. "You need to stop running away."

"So you don't love me enough, hm? As expected", he said in a more serious tone and dropped onto his bed. His logic was so frustrating. Vampire logic was bullshit to me and I hated it wholeheartedly. 

I put the box aside and walked next to his bed and took one of the paintings in his room from the wall. It was his mother Cordelia, that hung on a spot right next to his bed, where he would look onto last before he would fall asleep.

"I still can't believe that you have this painting hanging here. After everything... all this time." I furrowed my brows. I would have loved to punch a hole into the painting or throw it across the room, but instead I sat down next to Laito with the painting in my hands. 

"I don't even remember the last time where I saw her as my mother", he said and took his hat off to put it onto his lap. "As if she was just a lover of that man... a woman with a broken marriage and loneliness, seeking someone to help her stand through it. 

I put my hand onto his underarm. "She wasn't your mother. A mother is more than just a woman making babies", i answered angrily and held onto him tighter. "I would love to burn this thing. Arson. I am thinking about committing arson. Since I've grown up with you and since I've known her especially, I became so much more violent", I noticed and stood up to hang the painting back onto the wall.

As I turned back around, I noticed him laying on the bed with red cheeks. It happened all the time. It was a kind of defense mechanism. If he was sad or thinking about her or his past he would just... twist it into perverted thoughts. It helped him stand through the pain or completely erase it in that moment.

"Do I want to know what you're thinking about?", I asked but he just grabbed me and pulled me directly onto the bed, onto him. One handsid under my bra and carressed my body, but that wasn't even bad, considering it was him. But as he started toughing me downwards too, I panicked and teleported outside the room. My heart was racing and I knew it would have left him cold if I had declined him. I was scared and nervous and so glad I was able to free myself in such situations.

He didn't understand a 'no'. Or better said, he knew what it meant, but he told himself that a no wouldn't exist. If there really were times where people wouldn't want it, it would be meaning that he may never wanted it either. And that would hurt him. So he lived his own illusion that everybody wanted it and no wouldn't exist. It was a play thing people would do to appear more pure or whatever.

I sat down behind the door. He changed a lot. And that not always for the best. But that's just how it was and I didn't want to change that. I wanted to help him. He closed off his heart to everybody. He couldn't live in reality. And he couldn't let go. He couldn't even let go of a simple thing like the painting in his room. There were many things hurting him and occupying his mind with sadness, anger and worry. And I wanted to ease that. Help him live a life of happiness and not wanting to end it.

I have made a promise to him. And I wouldn't break it. Not even with death.   
_______

Hey Guys, I am Harucherry but you can call me Haru!  
Welcome to my fanfic ☆  
It's been a while since I've written Dialovers fanfics and with this one I am trying to not only get more into Laito's feeling and whatever is deep in his heart. But that's all I can say for now.   
I hope you've liked the first chapter for now, because I have some more and also a lot of ideas.   
In case you liked it or you didn't like it, please tell me about it. I'd like to hear your opinion or critics about this so you can help me grow.  
Enough said, see you next time ☆

Haru ♡


End file.
